Hello Every Body,
When you live with dynamic disabilities, you never know what you are going to be capable of from one day to the next. You learn to create systems for yourself that can give you some cushion - no back to back busy days, limits on travel, preparing for time to recoup - because eventually you have to realize that willpower or desire is just not going to change things, and you have to learn to work with reality.
The thing is, I think this is actually true for every single one of us, regardless of what our medical conditions are.
If you are a parent of small children or a caregiver to a loved one? You also don't know what you are going to be capable of from one day to the next. A change in health for them means a change in plans for you. If you have a job where you are on-call or expected to be available, you have limits for how much planning you can do for your own time. For any one of us, a change in financial resources could happen at any time. Bad luck impacting your body will eventually overtake us all.
Priorities shift, new needs come up, your own body needs change, your energy levels change, the resources you have to solve these problems change. Each of us is living with dynamic abilities, and often telling ourselves fairy tales to deal with that uncertainty. Fairy tales of "deserving" or "earning" or "attracting" our fates, because in a chaotic world the illusion of control is so seductive it often feels worth taking the blame.
Surrendering to the reality of my body needs means I also have the power to address them. I've spent the last couple of weeks creating some systems to help me when my ability isn't what I wish it was. I cleaned out my freezers and turned one into an
ice freezer full of fruit flavored ice cubes in the hope that it would encourage me to drink water - and it has! Then I cleaned out the garage deep freeze so the burritos and lasagna from the kitchen freezer would have a home, and while I was at it I set up a system for keeping track of what we're storing in there. I prepped a whole bunch of meals, and now when I reach dinner time with nothing left in the tank, I have an option besides the same 4 things we order from doordash.
It took me a really long time, multiple near death experiences, and years of disability before I stopped being ashamed of the reality of my body needs and got down to work addressing them. That story isn't rare. I bet you even know someone who had a health crisis or survived cancer and came out with a new lease on life. I think that's because when your life is on the line, delusions and fairy tales dissolve like cotton candy and you are left with nothing but reality. It's a brutal way to get there, but once you're there, it's pretty great.
Because not only am I free from the shame that comes along with those fairy tales, but I now have the power to meet my needs, and meet them in a way that stacks my joy. Why drink water when you could drink water full of citrus or berries? Why grimly eat something you don't like when food is such an artform? Why choose exercise that is punishing when you could celebrate movement? Why not take those body needs and use them as a chance to show yourself some care?
It takes diligence and experimentation to find the way that meeting your body needs will be possible in your individual life, but it is absolutely worth the effort. And so are you.
